Have you recently introduced your girlfriend or wife to BDSM, and to your surprise, she’s open to the idea of dominating you? But now, you’re not sure where to go next without Topping from the bottom? Or perhaps you’re the girlfriend or wife, excited to step into the Dominant role, but unsure of the next steps? If you can relate, keep reading for ten simple ways to add Female Domination to your existing relationship!
1. Create Structure for the Dynamic
While structure is crucial for all BDSM dynamics, it’s especially important in female-led relationships because it reinforces the intense power gap that submissive males crave when they shed their stereotypical “alpha male” role. So, incorporate rules, rituals, and protocols. And do so quickly.
A wardrobe change or collaring ceremony is a simple but powerful ritual to get you started. If your male submissive works outside the home or tends to switch roles, this transition can be a vital step in helping him switch from his dominant or professional mindset into his submissive headspace. Requiring him to change into specific attire or wear a collar signals that play or your high-protocol engagement is about to commence. So, consider how he can incorporate this as part of his daily routine after work to shift into submission mentally. (Watch: How to Switch Out of Boss Mode and into Submissive Mode After a Long Day at Work.)
2. Keep Your Queen Well-Fed
There’s a reason “hangry” is a recognized phenomenon—hunger brings out the worst in all of us! In a female-led dynamic, you can use this knowledge to your advantage by keeping your Queen well-fed and happy. Learn her favorite foods, drinks, and treats, keep them well-stocked, and take it a step further by honing your cooking skills. You don’t have to be a Michelin-star chef, but knowing more than the basics is essential! Taking the time to learn how to make some of her favorite meals shows honor and thoughtfulness, reminding her that her pleasure and comfort are your priority. (Watch: How to Add Female Pleasure to Your FLR)
3. Take Charge of Household Chores
Reducing your Queen’s stress levels should be one of your top priorities as a submissive in a female-led relationship. Alleviating her from the time-consuming tasks of domestic chores is one significant way to accomplish this. A tidy and well-maintained home serves as an act of devotion and sets the mood for peace and relaxation; imagine the comfort your Queen will feel stepping into a spotless sanctuary after a long and draining day. Your responsibilities can also extend beyond basic chores by considering how to make the home an organized retreat, reflecting the care and attention your Dominant deserves. (Watch: How to Add More Chastity and Maid Play into a Female-Led Dynamic)
4. Master Laundry and Tailoring
Laundry may seem mundane, but properly cleaning and caring for your Dominant’s delicate and expensive garments is a highly valuable skill. Knowing how to wash and store items made of silk, lace, leather, latex, etc., shows an attention to detail that many Dominants appreciate. Additionally, learning how to tailor clothing or maintaining a relationship with a skilled tailor is another fantastic way to serve. Clothing should be tailored to fit our bodies, not the other way around, and helping your Queen always look and feel her best is an essential form of service! (Watch: I'm Now in Chastity and Live to Serve Her, But...)
5. Organize and Care for Her Wardrobe
On top of laundry, taking care of your Dominant’s wardrobe is another great opportunity to show service. Knowing how to properly store and organize delicate items like corsets, lingerie, and high-end fabrics shows respect and care for her possessions. Think about how many beautiful outfits she owns—and the time saved if she can always find what she needs, perfectly maintained. From knowing how to tie a corset to storing PVC boots, knowing how to organize and store your Queen's most precious items properly will help clear her mental space, allowing her to focus on the things that matter most. (Watch: How to Feel Like a Submissive Man in Your Female-Led Relationship)
6. Provide Physical Support
For smaller Dominants or those who prefer not to engage in physically overpowering acts of dominance, having a submissive capable of performing physically strenuous tasks can be incredibly empowering. As a petite Dominant myself, I find it immensely satisfying when I don’t have to lift a heavy box, open a jar, or even touch a door! It enables me to embrace my feminine energy, knowing that I can always rely on my submissive to handle these tasks. (Watch: How Can a Physically Larger Man Submit to a Petite FemDom?)
7. Serve as a Chauffeur
There was once a time I couldn’t wait to get my driver's license and hit the open road. But now, I much prefer being driven to my destinations. If your Queen feels the same, consider adding chauffeur duties to your list of services. Driving her around allows her time to finish up work, take important calls, or just relax. And as part of this role, ensure her vehicle is always spotless inside and out for an even more decadent experience for her! (Watch: How Can a Broke Submissive Serve a Dom(me) Who Loves Receiving Gifts?)
8. Provide Sexual Service
In a FemDom dynamic, sexual service is a significant aspect of submission. This means prioritizing your Queen’s pleasure above all else. She comes first, and she cums first. If you’re not already doing so, it’s time to make her sexual pleasure your top priority! If you want to learn exactly how to give your woman mind-blowing pleasure between the sheets, watch my four-part series all about Female Pleasure Secrets!
9. Master the Art of Massage
Whether your Queen spends her days behind a desk or in a physically demanding role, a soothing massage is a highly appreciated service. So, I suggest learning the basics of massage therapy or even investing in equipment like a massage table and quality oils to enhance the experience. Offering a relaxing, tension-relieving massage at the end of the day is one of the most intimate and caring ways to serve a tired or overworked Domme. (Watch: The Ultimate Guide to Female Pleasure!)
10. Develop Your Mixology (or Barista) Skills
Lastly, why not impress your Queen by brushing up on your mixology skills? Whether she enjoys a finely crafted cocktail or decadent mocktail or prefers tea or coffee, there’s always a way to indulge her preferences. Take the time to learn how to craft her favorite drink—a luxurious espresso or a refreshing fruit-infused water—offering her a moment of indulgence and care. Additionally, providing delicious non-alcoholic options also communicates deep levels of support and encouragement for any Dominant on a sobriety journey!
If you or your partner are just stepping into a Female-Led Relationship, check out my BDSM Newbie Bundle on Patreon and get instant access to a ton of incredible content to help you design your dream dynamic!
BDSM Personality Guide
Kink Checklist for Creating Limits
BDSM Contract Template
Submissive Training Guide
Submissive Reward Ideas
Submissive Punishment Guide
BDSM Dictionary
And More!
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